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I know I can say I'm sorry a thousand times and it won't change anything. I know that I can beg for forgiveness and you won't bat an eye.
I've opened that POF app hundreds of times, but it never stopped me in my tracks. I never talked to anyone seriously. I started thinking about why I can't get you off my mind and out of my heart. I realized it's because you aren't some ordinary girl. You aren't just someone that I was supposed to love along the way and forget about.
Do you know what Joe Dimaggio's last words were? "I finally get to see Marilyn". That's the kind of love I'm in with you. I do care and honestly I did a bad job at showing it, but I want to. I look back and I see all the things I could have done different.
Rose I know there's feelings in there somewhere. No one protects their heart the way you do if there is no fear of losing it. First I want to say I'm not the devil I've been made out to be. It's not an excuse, but I'm just a man. I have fears, strengths, and weakness' just like everyone else. I'm not perfect and I'm sorry I couldn't be perfect for you.
I really thought I could get over you. I thought time would take you away. I thought that if I found someone else you would disappear. I thought that I could maybe even drink you away, but it never happens. It just never ever happens.
It hits me at the weirdest times. I couldn't even go to Isotopes park this year. I stay out of Target and that's not even because I didn't really like it much to begin with. My Pokemon Go account is right where we left off. I haven't caught a new one or done anything to it.
They'd catch Joe Dimaggio sad and they'd ask him what was wrong and he'd reply, "Don't you know?" meaning he only had one reason to be sad. One reason that smiles and happiness felt illegal. This only happens for a select few in our life time.
I love you with everything I have and I just I have a really hard time believing that you feel nothing. That sometimes you break not in a bad way, but take a moment and don't miss us. It wasn't perfect and I'm not trying to just sneak back in like everything is perfect. I know how much work I gotta put in and I also realize you probably won't even read this.
I'm just going to wait. I guess it's all I can do. I said there would be no one after you and I meant it. I'll wait through boyfriends and even husbands if I have to. I'll wait years and years. I'll wait until my last breath and one day, someday hopefully you'll change your mind.
I just hope you don't get mad if I forget that I'm not supposed to send you flowers, when I text a random I love you, or a good morning beautiful. I can't help it you have my heart.